Navigating the waters of Big Fish....

Checking out a new restaurant is always a bit of an adventure. I mean, you have an idea of what to expect (thanks to my fellow Yelpers), but until you go for it....you never really know what's going to happen.

I'm here to make your next experience at House of Big Fish & Ice Cold Beer better than everyone else's. Just follow these 7 easy steps. It's like Franklin Covey, but for food.

• Waiting for a bite - Fact: By 7pm on a Saturday, the wait was over 2 hours. I kid you not. Pick up a phone and call them. Restaurateurs say most RSVPs aren't even called in until the day before or day of. I'll even provide the number: 949-715-4500.

• Staying afloat - This all depends on where you're coming from, day of the week, time of day, etc. However, most diners will cruise there for happy hour or a weekend dinner. If that's the case, beware of both PCH and Highway 133. Both are the direct routes into Laguna Beach, and both have a tendency to back up. Try allocating an extra 15 minutes, just in case.

• Use a metal detector - (Note: If you are going to pay for $10 valet down the street or arrive after 7pm, stop reading and continue to the next bullet point.) The neighborhood runs on meters. Luckily there is a parking structure behind the plaza. Have quarters ready.
  

• Beach blanket babylon - This is not a quiet place. Say it with me. This is NOT a quiet place. If you can get past that, the rest will be like butter.
  

• Bonfire eats - I like reading fine print. "Bread served on request". Hot, yeasty goodness if it's right out of the oven. You can thank me later.

• Fresh catch - Three little words. Spicy seafood stew. Not that the rest of the menu isn't already a good deal. Mr. brekkie fan is a big cioppino eater, and this is one huge bowl of love. Fish and shellfish in a tomato broth? Yes!

• Sweeter than the perfect wave - The most flavorful tip actually originated from the chef. Two separate options on their menu, but for maximum effect order both the bananas foster AND the white chocolate bread pudding. Then when you get the two, pour the bananas over the pudding. Oh yeah.